one day they'll pay to see my movies

So you'd think when you make several showings on several times for an art exibhit while advertising using flyers, facebook and word of mouth, people would show up right ? WRONG, apparently when this art exhibit is a movie made by yours truly no one cares enough about showing up, even if you nag on and on and on about how you made such an effort of sleepless nights to write, shoot, record and edit, how people worked hard to act in this movie out of a favour, or nagged about when and where it is over and over thinking someone will remember, but hey at least like 6 people remembered. you see when you go into the trouble of booking an entire courtroom and set up the sound properly for it to play perfectly, and wait in an empty courtroom for 15 minutes for someone to show up, you look like an idiot, HELL I WANTED TO DRESS UP IN A SUIT, FUCK. and then you have to run a cross a field to tell two people that hey you said you'd come it's time now pls come, and out of the niuceness of their hearts they come and so two people sit down in a room that fits like 400 and watch the movie. now seriously the only showing that had a good number was when I showed it in class and was solely because the class had nothing better to do but then a logistics problem had to happen and we had to change rooms in middle of the song number when the terrorists broke into song and dance. but hey no complaints I got good reviews that day they loved it. but I thoguht maybe I should tour it like a real movie and run it several days but then only 3 people showed up once 1 on another and 2 on the last day and that's for one showing OUT OF 2.



Maybe I didn't ask politley or came on too hard, or maybe didnt advertise enough, but I'm dead sure that deep down most people just didn't care, because hey, they prolly care enough about whatever else they were doing during these 4 showings, hey I understand you have obligations tests or whatever else you might be doing, but as far as I know if you car about something you'll make an effort to show, I accept apologies because hey, I'm a good guy and your not obliged to come, although it would've been a nice touch, and according to everyone that saw it you would've enjoyed it too.



but apparently you need to be famous or have famous people in your movie, mayeb then the star factor would attract people or even make 'em care, but hey i'm through begging people to show up i've made enough of a fool of myself trying to get people to care where others across the ocean are begging to see it, so hey here's what i'm going to do, i'm gonna put it online and if you wanna see it, SEE IT THERe, ofcourse it won't be big or have a gazillion views because it's not a farting panda biting paris hilton, or a fat asain kid jumping rope while singing celine dion's i'll always love you in japanese falsetto while being bombarded by light sabers, it just doesn't have that viral factor being a 57 minute movie and all but hey at least this way i won't feel like an idiot. because seriously if I'm doing what I love and want to do in life, but then no one cares you start to think if this is really what you want to do, maybe you're not good enough, but I'm not hat easily discouraged, and I'm not giving up that easily and hey one kid told me one statement that made my day and regenerated hope in me, he told me "you're the coolest guy I've ever met", which tottally made my day, because I remembered why i was doing this, it keeps me in check, it makes me feel like a kid again, because being like a kid is what makes me this optimistic highly imagnitive person, maybe it was my growing up in which i had to take care of my little brother as a kid while my mom went to work, that taught me to stay a kid and yet hold responsibilities way older than my age, I mean I had to make him sandwiches and wipe his ass (not at the same time that's gross) but it is this combination of being responsible like an adult but maintian childlike innocnece and creativity to reach my goals, because the unbrideled imagination of children is just the power any artist needs.

So to put this in simple terms, I will not just be a face in the crowd, I don't feel I should be and hence I won't. let this failure not be a discourging factor but rather an eye opener that I should work harder and harder, till I get recognition I need, because apparently I just don't need to have fun to be satisfied but also to have an impact on people, so whether they like it or not, one day they will pay to see my movies and i won't have to beg for it...